I have given my heart to the man I love, but how can I sacrifice my dreams and give my body and mind to the man I don’t love! Don’t separate my heart with my mind and body, don’t break me apart! No! Don’t push me inside the darkest well of unhappy marriage until I jump inside it with my own will!
These are the unhappy feelings of a girl, who is forced by her parents to get married to a man she doesn’t love. They may call it short-time summer romance that will fade with time, but they may not perceive the everlasting trauma the forced marriages leave on young minds
Forced marriage is not only a crime but it is also prohibited in Islam. Pakistan may be an Islamic state but there is a higher ratio of forced marriages in Pakistan, as parents usually want their daughters to get married early whereas daughters, burdened amidst the unspeakable trauma of duty and love, sacrifice their dreams and get married to live a broken marriage life. Not only daughters, but sometimes sons are also ordered by parents to get married to a girl they don’t love.
Being a parent, yes it is your duty and responsibility to make a right decision for your children yet you can’t utterly force them in this matter as forcing your child to marry is an extremely delicate issue. Here are some parenting tips to follow in this case of utmost sensitivity and stress.
Direct communication to your child is very important in this case. Talk to them not as parents but as a friend and try to understand their mental and emotional state. Convince them if you feel your decision is right for them, but if you are doing it solely because of your desires and ego, your persuading them will only make them stronger to achaive their goal.
Leave your ego and wishes behind as it is your child who has to spend life not you, you might lose your child in running behind your dreams and ego. If your child makes the decision by himself, he will live his life to the fullest while taking all the responsibilities on his shoulders. But if he is forced to take the decision, he will never be able to enjoy his life and will keep blaming you for a miserable marriage life.
In this world of modernity and freedom, children usually can’t imagine themselves sacrificing their dreams of happy marriage life, so it’s always better to listen them to understand them and to satisfy them fully, if you can’t satisfy them, better fulfill their desires or you will end up creating incurable distances between you and your children.
I have given my heart to the man I love, but how can I sacrifice my dreams and give my body and mind to the man I donâ€™t love!