LECTURE – NOT DISCUSS!
Every parent aims to give the best of everything to their teens and want them to grow into responsible adults. So, Mind you parents, in this process of nurturing, never ‘lecture’ them over some issue or problem area. Instead, sit with them and make a dialogue with them over the matter. This is the best method to approach the teeny boppers and teaching them the technique of good decision-making. Teens get irritated of parents ‘special attention’ and treating them like new-born babies rather than budding adults. Don’t estrange your teens. Yet, your teens need constant guidance. But it’s all about how to handle them. Treat them like adults. Discuss with them, negotiate and understand them on all levels. Make them value you, your place. Don’t turn yourself into an overprotective tyrannical ruler.
OVERLOOK THE OBVIOUS
If you sense a bizarre events going on in your house when it comes to teens; sleeping late, missing classes, missing curfew and not introducing new friends, DO NOT ignore it! Considering it the normal teen behavior and burying the situation isn’t an intelligent thing to do. Concealing the facts to avoid confrontation tends to make your teen more tetchy and hostile.
NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH RULES AND CONSEQUENCES
Most parents have no problem creating punishments for breaking the rules. Some parents are used to harshly putting their teens under curfew or restricting their allowance. The only thing you get out of it is a rebellious mutinous behavior. If you set rules, it is important to make clear in advance the consequences for breaking that rule. If you set rules and make them clear in advance, you wouldn’t have the need to be harsh and unsympathetic, later.
SET DIFFICULT GOALS
Make sure that when you set goals, they are achievable and within the reach of your child. But, it’s better to have a detailed conversation with them before you plan out their future. Lay down expectations which allow the child to accomplish something based on his or her capabilities. If your child needs academic help, find out about local coaching and after-schools programs. Encourage your child’s natural abilities. And promote them to go for what their heart desires for.
HIGHLIGHT NEGATIVE POINTS ONLY
It’s not healthy to always point out negative points in your teens and always expect good conduct, good grades, etc with less support or admiration. Always highlighting their flaws and faults tend to make them grow complexed and less self-assured. Remember, your child is always seeking for your encouragement and nothing encourages a child more than the positive feedback of a parent.
EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO YOUR DUTY
Do not expect that your child will learn about the hazards and perils of drugs, alcohol, and other risky behaviors, from other source either school or elsewhere. Research has proved that parents who talk openly with their kids about high-risk behaviors and give obvious guidelines about the consequences for engaging in these behaviors are less prone to smoke, drink, use drugs, or have intimate relationship. A smart kid who does well in school is likely to sustain good grades albeit they are drinking or using drugs. Actually, they may know that by retaining their grades, they might distract you and avoid your suspicion. Don’t dismiss other signs of problem for the reason that the grades are not dropping.
SACRIFICE YOUR FAMILY TIME
Remember, the time you give your family is important than anything. Extract time out from your schedule daily to eat together with the family. Make conversations openly with them over the table. Parents who spend time with their children will be more conscious of changes in their conduct and performance. Parents, who are too busy in their lives, can hardly notice changes in their kids, good or bad.
NOT TAKING THE TIME TO KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH YOUR TEENS
Media influences teens greatly. The content on the TV and even the internet is open to all. So, it’s advisable to keep a close check on your kids, put Child lock on adult channels and restrict such sites too.
Give Up Too Soon
Your teen might test your tenacity. They are going to test it once, twice, and many times more. Teens are clever. They know if you are dead beat and irritated, and they often have a supernatural ability to test you just when you are least likely to have the energy to resist. Don’t give up. Be unswerving. Stay watchful. Since, as a parent your main job is to raise your children to be self-sufficient adults. If you renounce this full-time responsibility, someone else will teach them the ropes, and probably that someone may not have their best interests in mind.
Teens should be under constant guidance, but like a loving parent not a tyrannical ruler. But, most parents forget how necessary it is to keep a balance between love and strictness.
