Handling your baby in her terrible two

Posted on Dec 29th, 2009 | Comments (0)

When your baby turns 2 then you should straighten up your back and get ready to argue with your baby. Terrible two is a testing time for both the parents and children.

Your sweet little baby is growing up. The baby now says "no" to every request you make. The baby hits. The baby bites. The baby throws his cereal across the room. This means you have entered a new, perfectly normal developmental phase. The baby is growing more independent and is becoming aware of herself as a person entirely separate from you.

First of all, give yourself a big pat on the back for making it through infancy and then take a long deep breath. It is important to understand the nature of two-year-old child’s development. The fact that the baby is resisting you is a notice that she feels secure enough in her relationship with you to test it. The baby’s work is to see what kind of independence she is able of at this time.

Setting restrictions includes taking toys away if she throws them, carrying her across a street if she refuses to hold your hand and walk safely, or putting her in the car seat despite her protestations. The expectation of enforcing physical limits can help parents accept, rather than retort to these outbursts. The baby actually needs this knowledge to internalize rules. The baby is trying her independence, and needs to experience the limitations safely within the context of your relationship. While it is her job to test, it is your job to non-emotionally put in force.

It may also be helpful to consider pampering her in doing suitable things more independently whenever possible. Allow her to use a spoon to feed herself or watering the garden holding a hose by herself may be somewhat messy, but will allow her some outlet to experience the need for greater liberty.

Secondly, realize that you are under tension and need support. It will be hard for you to give her the emotional buffer she needs during this demanding period of development if you do not have one yourself! Here you need to include the father of your daughter to make an effort. Call the father when you have had a particularly stressful interaction with your child. Knowing you will have someone to talk to about it later in the day, will help you react with neutral limit setting behavior that does not escalate the interaction between your daughter and yourself. Eventually, she will learn to accept these limits more considerately.